76% -- the previous post explained

I'm sitting on the backyard porch at my parent's house in Texas. Yeah, I live in Arkansas while my parent's life in Texas -- 10 miles away.

Despite how irrational and impulsive I may be, I am a creature of logical thinking. When I make a mistake, I know I'm making it while I'm doing it. When I popped 15 pain killers and got in my car to drive across the state of Texas, I knew that I had broken the law. I knew what I was doing what illegal, and it's true that pleaded not guilty in court, but I was guilty. I knew I was in violation when I turned the key in the ignition of my car. Yes, the cop used bullshit tactics and I shouldn't have been convicted of the misdemeanor, I was guilty. Legally, I should have gotten off, but it was only a technicality.

And, when I was 15 and tried to kill the man who was beating me, I knew I'd go to jail. I did so with passion. I was a child, but I knew I was right; and, I was going to fight for my cause -- for my survival. I didn't care what it cost me.

Well, that's what I thought at the time. But, it cost me 1.5 years. That's a hell of a lot more than I thought it would.

All of this brings into question the political, judicial, and economical questions in this country. And, despite my non-violent opposition to all of those in power right now (read: Dick Cheney, George W. Bush, Iraq war), I can tell you that I believe the United States of America is the closest thing to a perfect union that anyone has created before it. It stands as a beacon of truth, hope, and opportunity.

Some are lucky enough to get a shot at "the American dream" but most are not. In order to get that opportunity, you need a lot of things. You need money. You need connections. You need luck.

I had none. So, I was denied. If you did what I did, would you have gotten what I got? Perhaps. It depends on if you have money. It depends on if you have connections better than mine. And, it depended mostly on chance -- the luck of the draw. I had a bad hand, so I lost.

That's fair. I can't complain there.

But, now I'm backed into a corner. I'm joining either the Navy or Army (not sure which one yet). And, sadly, I have no choice on if I should do this. It must be done. I was still undecided on Monday (I think it was Monday). The Army recruiters had someone at the mall awaiting my arrival. He (the driver/army recruiter) was to drive me to the Shreveport, LA "entrance exam" building so I could take a test called, "The ASVAB". The minimum score you must get on this test is a 31% to join the Army or Navy. I had taken a practice test, and I scored a 54%.

They didn't explain to me who the test was ranked. So, when I saw 54%, I thought I had failed. I thought of high school and college grading systems. I don't know what they are in your state, but this is how it works in my state:

100-99 = A
98-89 = B
88-79 = C
78-69 = D

Anything lower than that was F.

Note that this was only the practice test, and although I felt I did bad, my recruiter told me that was pretty damned good. She said the real thing is pretty different from the practice test, so I might score a little lower, but even if that happens, I've still done very well.

So, I show up on that Monday and the recruiter drives me and another girl to Shreveport, LA. In a room with 3 other people, I'm the first to finish the test-- after about 1 hour and 20 minutes (3 hours were given to us). When you a finish a test that quickly, you've either done hugely great, or you've failed very hard. I thought I did horrible.

I awaited, in the lobby, for my score. My score?

76%

I knew what this meant, but I had no idea how big of a deal it was until I got back to the recruiter station and showed them the print out of my results.

Everyone went apeshit.

The told me if I sign up, they'll give me any job I want. They promised, contractually, that I'll never see combat. They'll put me in school as long as I want to be in school. And, they'll not only pay for my education, but like I said, give me any job I want.

I qualify for military intel with the score I got on my ASVAB.

So, what's the problem?

I don't believe in war. I don't believe in the military. Everything in my soul says not to do this, but I have no choice with the opportunities they are offering. I mean... they even said I can go live anywhere I want (I'm going to Japan)... but....

I'm a total sellout.