Dear my "darling", Gina;
On 2008 September 6th, I had some unbelievable stuff happen to me. I always knew I could talk to you about anything; especially since you're great at giving advise. Nikita had come over to my apartment, and we were going to watch movies, have a sleep over (no sex, just sleeping), and it was supposed to be a lot of fun.
Sometime around 1:00PM, she lost her mind, and she went absolutely, unequivocally, batshit crazy. I hadn't sen this kind of behavior since I lived with Brytni, and this was far worse than Brytni's insane bullshit.
So, I sent you an IM to tell you about it. Here is the transcript of that IM for you, and the world, to see.
(9:46:36 AM) Charlie: :'(
(9:46:37 AM) Gina
(10:51:52 AM) Gina: What's wrong?
(10:52:55 AM) Charlie: Last night was so.... so.... so unbelievable...
(10:52:55 AM) Gina
(10:53:01 AM) Gina: What happened?
(10:54:44 AM) Charlie: You remember Nikita, don't you?
(10:55:02 AM) Gina: No, but you mentioned her last night and that she was coming over to get drunk.
(10:57:07 AM) Charlie: Yeah...
(10:57:39 AM) Gina: So, what happened?
(10:58:37 AM) Charlie: It's a long, fucked fucking holy fuck fuck fucked up fucking long fucking fucked up piece of
fuck... can I call you to tell you?
(10:58:50 AM) Gina: ... that was really unnecessary.
(10:58:58 AM) Gina: And no, you can't call me. I'm doing homework.
(10:59:14 AM) Charlie: No.... it really wasn't... this was the most insane night I've had in years
(10:59:53 AM) Gina: Well, I'm sorry, but no matter how bad it was I don't really appreciate that amount of poor
language.
(11:00:02 AM) Charlie: If it offended you I'm sorry
(11:00:14 AM) Gina: Accepted.
(11:00:18 AM) Gina: Now, just tell me what happened.
(11:00:38 AM) Charlie: No. I'll tell you later. It's too long to type
(11:01:03 AM) Gina: Whatever.
(11:01:23 AM) Charlie: What's your deal?
(11:02:09 AM) Gina: I'm doing homework, and I don't really have the time or patience for you to be vague.
(11:03:05 AM) Charlie: I'm not being vague. I'm being nothing. I'll just tell you later. If time is a problem for you,
then there's no point to even try to tell you what happened via IM
(11:03:29 AM) Charlie: Do your homework, and hopefully later tonight you'll have 20-30 minutes free for me to tell you.
(11:03:45 AM) Gina: Fine.
(11:03:58 AM) Charlie: ?!
(11:04:35 AM) Gina: I'm agreeing with you. What's the issue?
(11:05:33 AM) Charlie: "Fine." sounds a lot like agreement when agreement usually comes out like, "Alrighty.", "Ok." or, "That'll work." -- rather, "Fine." sounds like, "Fine. Do whatever the hell you want, Charlie. I'm fed up with it already."
(11:06:00 AM) Gina: You're putting way too much thought into this.
(11:06:25 AM) Charlie: If you hadn't of said "Whatever." earlier, I wouldn't have...
(11:07:28 AM) Gina: Honestly, I just don't really care? I feel like you're making a big deal out of nothing, and you
refuse to prove to me that it's not nothing.
(11:07:41 AM) Gina: So I'm just going to do my work, and talk to you later.
(11:08:14 AM) Charlie: Maybe I'm wrong, and I hope I am, but you're coming off very annoyed and like you're
pretty grumpy right now... which sucks, not only cause it's rare for you to act like this, and last night so completely
messed up, and it messed with my head. So, I was hoping to get so............
(11:08:15 AM) Charlie: Fine.
(11:08:16 AM) Charlie: Bye.
Unbelievably rude, I thought, but I can get passed that. But, I put this message on my twitter account:
Charlie: Tonight, you went off on and were really rude. I haven't the slightest clue why you acted that way. I wish I knew at least that much. Thnx.
Gina: If you actually cared, you wouldn't just twitter about your feelings. You'd do something.
06:06 AM September 08, 2008 from web
Gina: If you actually cared, you wouldn't just twitter about your feelings. You'd do something. Charlie: A year ago, I remember telling you I had the ability of throwing harmful people away, without regret, even if I love them. You're are close.
10:26 PM September 09, 2008 from twhirl
Charlie: Not blog @ http://selfhatex.blogspot.com/
Gina: @SquireCD I read the blog. I'm not sure what to say. I just need space. College is more overwhelming already than I expected.
Charlie: @gigibutt You saying nothing when you should (ie: apologize) seems to be your thing lately, so i'm not surprised. I'm used to it. No worries
Gina: @SquireCD Forget it. That's honestly the last time I'm reaching out to you. Go get drunk and waste your life away - I can't keep caring.
Charlie: @gigibutt You called that reaching out? Then, by all means go. I'm done too.
Charlie: @gigibutt And while you're hurling insults? May I make one? You're stuck up as hell.
Charlie:@gigibutt Want to "reach out" and mend this? I suggest you do a little better, because I give you an F. I'll acept a C+. Otherwise, piss offPlease note that I have said many things that were rude and out of line, but I've apologized and begged for forgiveness each time. As you've seen, she didn't apologize. Her answer was to completely ignore the fact that she was a total cunt; and without an apology, I do not accept her, the friendship, and I most certainly will not be her friend.
From what I gather, she has no intention on making this right. And, I will therefore keep her blocked on mySpace, IM, gmail, and everything else. If this is how she's going to handle her behavior (that was aimed at me), then I will have no part and nothing to do with her ever again.
With that said, if she apologized right now for being a rude jerk, I'd totally forgive and forget. Sadly, I don't see that in our future. And, I'll be absolutely honesty, this sitiation really hurts my feelings; because, I adore her so, so fucking music. She inspires me, I (think) I inpspire her, and I've done her tons of nice and sweet thing (befriend a boy she liked so I can report back to her what he says, sending her Valentines Day stufff, and anytime she's upset, she knows (without the slighest doubt that she can call me, cry, bitch, or whine to me, and I'll listen to it for hours if need to be.
It was a surprise to me when I found how agout 2 week ago, these things I do for her have never been recipcricated, and I hadn't even noticed until this happened.
And, again, with all of these things said, if she would just say, "Charlie, I'm sorry", I'd forgive and forget right then and there. I don't need / want her telling me how bad she treated me or getting into "I'm so unbelievably sorry". A simple "I'm sorry, and it won't happen again" will due just fine.
However, nowing her, this will never, ever happen.
So, this, Gina, is farewall. I will miss you dearly, but fuck you for acting the way you have.
From what I gather, she has no intention on making this right. And, I will therefore keep her blocked on mySpace, IM, gmail, and everything else. If this is how she's going to handle her behavior (that was aimed at me), then I will have no part and nothing to do with her ever again.
With that said, if she apologized right now for being a rude jerk, I'd totally forgive and forget. Sadly, I don't see that in our future. And, I'll be absolutely honesty, this sitiation really hurts my feelings; because, I adore her so, so fucking music. She inspires me, I (think) I inpspire her, and I've done her tons of nice and sweet thing (befriend a boy she liked so I can report back to her what he says, sending her Valentines Day stufff, and anytime she's upset, she knows (without the slighest doubt that she can call me, cry, bitch, or whine to me, and I'll listen to it for hours if need to be.
It was a surprise to me when I found how agout 2 week ago, these things I do for her have never been recipcricated, and I hadn't even noticed until this happened.
And, again, with all of these things said, if she would just say, "Charlie, I'm sorry", I'd forgive and forget right then and there. I don't need / want her telling me how bad she treated me or getting into "I'm so unbelievably sorry". A simple "I'm sorry, and it won't happen again" will due just fine.
However, nowing her, this will never, ever happen.
So, this, Gina, is farewall. I will miss you dearly, but fuck you for acting the way you have.
Current Music: "Backstabber" by The Dresden Dolls
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2 comments:
I was wondering what that was about. You acted the same way anyone else would talking to someone who doesn't give two fucks about anything. The way she gets offend by the word fuck is a lil absurd. It's unnecessary to point out that saying fuck is unnecessary. Don't you wish she would've plainly said 'fuck off' instead of just implying it the whole time?
What I really wish is that she'd just say, "Hey, I'm sorry." I don't require a huge and long drawn out apology... I just miss my friend.
She's been such a wonderful friend up until this point, and I'm going to really miss her...
Don't get me wrong, I'm messed up too, but when I've fucked up, I've said I'm sorry.
I just wish she would do the same, because I want her back; she means a lot to me.
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