Adelaide

Prue, who came all the way from Australia to see me is asleep in my bed. She's been here 1.5 months now. She'll stay about 1.5 more months.

I'm going back with her.

Adelaide, Austrialia.

I will not return, and tonight I am sad for all that I'll give up for this -- though I'm happy to do it.

I'm sad I'll never see Cliff, Fabian, Trinity, Synthia, JP, Di, Kayla, Charlie B, or any of my other people -- the two most important being my brother and mom.

Brytni had her baby. I'm glad for her. I tried calling to make sure all went as planned -- I hadn't talked to her in a year -- but, I had to know. I got her voicemail.

July 26th is the day I leave the USA forever.

Hi.

I was talking to a friend of mine a few days ago as we drunken slumped into the couches that make my living room.

She told me that when I don't update my blog, twitter, or mySpace, then people worry about me. They think I may be dead.

Rest assured, I am not dead.

I feel very close to it, and if you gave me a gun, the only the thing I'd really have to say right now is "goodbye". But, I am cheerful for 3 reasons:

1.) Summer is an awesome friend.
2.) Prue is an awesome girl.
3.) I talked to Christine (despite a weird phone misunderstanding), and she was very, very sweet to me... I had forgotten how very sweet she was.

Anyway. Hi. I'm alive. I'm still here, kind of, and I probably won't update for a while.

Bye.

Prudence.

Prudence. With the guilt I feel, for being so greedy,
I can’t help but want to put her in a cage.
It makes me feel as if I’ve murder someone beautiful.
She could cure AIDS, cancer, and even my rage.

I can’t help but to be selfish now.
I don't know who I am anymore.
She makes me insane.
She makes me smile:
Inane. Asinine.

I'm broken, damaged.
Never good enough for such a perfect person.

I don't deserve such a miracle.

Piercings (Specifically: Eyebrows and lips)

Okay... sorry. I just got home from swinging by the liquor store and hitting up McDonald's to get some breakfast, and it happened again...

Why the fuck is it that any time I go out in public when I'm wearing my lip rings there's always that one jack ass dumb fucker who points at my god damned face and then he says...

"Did that hurt?"

Uh... No. It didn't hurt at all. They just took a big fucking needle, shoved it through my flesh, pulled the needle back out, and then they shoved a huge fucking piece of metal into my face.

No. Didn't hurt a bit.

WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU!?!

WHY WOULD YOU ASK ME THAT?!?

GIVE ME A FUCKING HASHBROWNS AND LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE!!

oh my god.. i hate these people

From February With Love: Lines, Circles & Progress

Laying around, no school today:
Just paying pacing to keep awake.
Sitting around, no work today:
Just drinking until the clock has circled all the way.

It's late afternoon as you walk the rooms
of a house that is quiet,
except for unanswered telephones.
And, you stand near the sink while you're mixing a drink.
You think you don't want to pass out where your
room mates will find you... again.

Stumble around the neighborhood with nothing to do.
You're always looking for something to sniff, smoke, or swallow.
Call over next door to see what they've got.
You'll settle for anything that'll make your brain slow down or


Stop this circle of thoughts you chase,
before they catch back up with you.
And, your parents noticed your thinning face.

All the weight you've lost...

All the weight you're losing..

...You said,

"I'm done feeling like a skeleton...
No more sleeping walking dead..."

You're going to wake from this coma.
You're going to crawl from this bed you've made.
So, stop counting on the camera that
hangs around your neck.
Because you won't ever remember what
you choose to forget, as you

try to find some source of light;
and, try to name one thing you like:

You used to have such a longer list.
As if you never had to wait for it.

But now, it's so easy.

It's so easy.

But now? You second-guess everything you do, until
all you want is to finish this half-empty glass before
the ice all melts away.

And this feeling? Well, it used to pass.
But now, it feels like it's everyday and
it feels like it's every night now.